Elaine's Blog

STRESS - Handling It Effectively

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, “How heavy is this glass of water?” Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter.  It depends on how long you try and hold it.

If you hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem.  If you hold it for an hour, you’ll have an ache in your right arm.  If you hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance!

In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer you hold on to it, the heavier it becomes.

And so it is with stress management.  If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on. 

As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.  Once refreshed, you can carry on with your burden.

So, if you are finding yourself carrying difficult burdens, try and set them  down each evening.  After setting them down, sit down and write a list of all the good in your life…even if it’s just all the wonderful nature surrounding you each day.  You can pick those burdens up again in the morning and will find yourself stronger and better able to deal with those challenges and the stress they’ve created for you.

It’s unrealistic to imagine a life without challenges and stress; however, if we increase our awareness and whenever possible periodically let go of that stress, then, I think we’ll find ourselves in a better position to cope with and hopefully resolve that stress!

The Future of Girls

In reviewing the website www.WeBelieveinGirls.com there were many encouraging comments about the future of our young girls...

We've come a long way from when we were girls entering our teens and wondering what we would do in the future. In those days we were expected to find a husband and have babies. If we actually wanted a career, the only acceptable careers were teachers and nurses.  WOW...things have changed...just not enough.

We're now seeing a high number of companies run by women...most of the family wealth is handled by women and I'm seeimg more and more women comfortable with being independent and NOT feeling they HAVE to have a man to take care of them.

If lucky, we find a partner and soulmate...AND...if lucky, we find a career that is part of our passion in life.  We're certainly closer but have a ways to go...

I work with many couples going through the painful time of divorce and all too often, the wife gave up her career and dreams to help her husband succeed...only to have it tossed away when he went through a mid life crisis and wanted to be with someone half his age... 

I always encouraged my daughters to get their education...get a career they loved and then get married.  That way, they would always have their independence backing them up!

Elaine Kiernan, CFP, CSA, CDFA

25 YEARS !!!

WOW...We've now been in business for 25 years.  I started my business when my children were 10, 11 12 and 13.  Now I'm a grandmother and still going strong!  I'd like to think I'm an example to all mom's thinking about getting back into business after the kids become the age my kids were!  If I can do it...so can you!!

BECOMING A WIDOW

   When one becomes a widow, you generally expect to experience sadness, depression and anxiety.  What I didn't expect was the feeling of not knowing who I was anymore.  Sure, in my profession, I was comfortable and knew perfectly well who and what I was.  However, when I left the office and headed home, it was totally different.  I had always been either a mother or wife and now, I was neither.  My kids were older and had their own families and now I wasn't even a wife. 

   So, now this past year has been an interesting journey exploring who I am and what I want to do with the rest of my life.  I'm trying to take advantage of my local support group of friends and family and keeping myself open to new ideas and suggestions.

Sadness

While life can be full of laughs, fun times and happiness, it can also be full of sadness.  My husband passed away on Thanksgiving Day of 2005.  It's now been six months since his passing and I still feel it clear to the core of my being.  He was my sole mate and the love of my life and he was a young sixty-seven.  Yes, I am a grandmother and my love will be with my grandchildren and my children...but I now have a better understanding of others who have lost the love of their life...death is no respector of persons..or grandmothers but life will go on..

Instruction Book for Mothers

It always amazes me that kids can obtain a driver’s license at age 16, vote at age 18 and drink at age 21.  To obtain a driver’s license, there is the requirement of some study as well as a test.  To vote, if it’s responsibly, there is a voter’s pamphlet for them to study.  Why, then, is there no responsible preparation or age limit for becoming a mother?  It’s not uncommon today to see girls 17, 18 or even 16 pregnant.  At times, it’s like babies having babies.  How can we expect them to know how to be a responsible mother?  Even for new mothers in their twenties, most have no idea what to expect or even how to handle the challenges of motherhood.

After having raised four children, some of the advice I provided to them when they became mothers might be helpful for other new mothers.

• It’s easy to let babies and small children push your buttons and for you to raise your voice and yell at them.  The next time you find yourself in that situation, try whispering to them.  You will be amazed that when you lower your voice and whisper, many times they will simply begin whispering back.  Think about the last time you were with a friend or parent and they were whispering to you…did you find yourself whispering back??

• Babies as well as small children need boundaries and routine schedules.  Make sure you stick to them.  If you do, you’ll find motherhood being much more enjoyable and your children will be much better adjusted.  You’ll actually have a life and role that is not just motherhood.  Remember, you’re a wife too and you need to find a balance between the various roles you’ll find yourself expected to master.  While it can be difficult to be a mother and a wife in today’s economic environment, you most likely will even need to add the role of being an employee as well.

• Play soothing music while you’re pregnant and continue playing the same music while they’re babies and toddlers.  They will come to associate the soft music with time to quiet down and relax.

• Be consistent.  Don’t tell them NO one day and give in the next. 

• Don’t use the television and/or computer games as a babysitter.  Encourage them to explore their artistic abilities.  Drawing, books or music are excellent choices.

• Don’t give in to all the advertised cereals.  Most of them are 90% sugar.  Make sure you maintain a nutritional balance while preparing meals.  Remember, it’s easier to say no to junk food if you don’t keep it in the house.

• Remember, if you’re nursing, whatever you eat or drink will be passed directly on to your infant.  If you have a lot of caffeine or sugar it can be passed on in your milk and cause your infant to be agitated.

Regardless of what challenges you find yourself faced with as a new mom, remember you’re not alone.  Also remember that there are many professionals that are willing to assist you and provide necessary advice.  Take advantage of them!

Taking an Active Role in Your Family’s Finances

[The following is an abridged excerpt from Elaine Kiernan’s upcoming book "Will My Mom Be a Bag Lady? Questions & Answers to Help You Plan for and Stabilize your Financial Future." This important book, scheduled for publication later this year, addresses many of the issues adult children face while becoming increasingly involved in the lives of their mothers and fathers. ]

Welcome Moms and other readers.

One of the benefits to being a financial advisor for so many years is that I have heard (and answered) most of the questions people ask. Again, there is nothing cookie cutter about your situation or anyone else’s, but many people do share similar situations and circumstances. Now, we can benefit from it.  I will be addressing a number of Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) here, and I have categorized them for my readers.

Here, we discuss what I call the Mystery of the Paycheck. New mothers might find this particularly helpful, but take comfort in the fact that many moms who have been working for years still need a refresher course. Below are some of the actual questions I am asked about paychecks. I selected these questions because they are among the most common. Take a look!

Why is so much money taken out of my paycheck?

The most common paycheck deductions are Federal taxes, State taxes, FICA (Social Security), SDI (State Disability Insurance), and Medicare. In many cases, your paycheck will also make note of the number of state and federal exemptions you have chosen to declare. This number is important because it has a direct bearing on what percentage of your pay is withheld for taxes.  Over and above that, if you have wisely chosen pre-tax savings plans, then those pre-tax deductions will also be listed. Be sure you understand all the deductions.  A tax or financial professional can help you, or the Federal and all State governments have toll free numbers, websites and printed information you can request. Use it!

How much of my income should be going to the government?

The goal is to bring your taxes as close to zero as you can each year. A large refund may seem like a big bonus, but all it means is that you have given the government interest-free use of your money for a year. It’s better to change your exemptions and receive more money in each paycheck and not receive a refund.  The more exemptions you claim on your W-4 form, the fewer the dollars that are withheld. The fewer exemptions you claim, the more tax dollars that are withheld. The best way to determine the ideal amount of exemptions to declare would be to consult a tax professional. There is flexibility here – take advantage of it!

I just got my paycheck, where’d all my money go?

If I got a dime for every time a client asked me this question, I’d be retired and in Cozumel sipping pina coladas by now. Most of us work hard to earn money. Often, we toil in our jobs when we would rather be spending our time on vacation or with our family. That’s just the nature of the beast.

But equally “natural” is the desire to keep as much of your paycheck as you can. You can strive toward this goal by attacking two areas: First, arranging for the great net amount of your paycheck to make it into your pocket (without being penalized at tax time) and second, making the most of what DOES make it to your pocket.

The first step in keeping as much as you possibly can is to create a list of your anticipated expenses (groceries, gas, rent etc.). Keep a record of other expenses that come up like movie tickets, dinner out, what you might slip the kids and emergency repairs to the home or car.

Add up all that you spend in one pay period, and subtract the amount from your net paycheck (the amount you actually get in your pocket – after taxes). You should be seeing the difference as excess money. If you don’t, then you may be living beyond your means. Save receipts and record your cash expenditures separately. Remember: ATMs are usually the most problematic area for people trying to save money.  That money is instant, real, and often gone before you know it. Track it!

How can I start saving from every paycheck?

One of the most effective rules of thumb regarding finances is to pay yourself first!

If your employer provides electronic transfers from your paycheck, have it automatically deposited into a money market account. This way, you earn interest from the date of deposit. To cover your expenses, transfer money that you need from your money market to your checking account and write smaller checks from there. Whatever amount remains in your money market account is savings and continues to earn interest! 

Several banks now offer checking/debit accounts where, when a purchase is made, the amount is rounded up to the next dollar and the difference is deposited into a savings account. Consider that! Ask your bank or financial professional what options might be available to you. And like so many issues related to your finances, set goals.

I get so much mail from different accounts, I can’t keep track everything.

How can I manage the information overload?

As a mom, you know that life is busy and seem to get out of control at times. Remember, the less you have to manage, the easier it is to keep track of what is there. Consolidate your accounts as much as possible and as much as it makes sense. If you use a broker, ask your broker to consolidate multiple investment accounts under one brokerage account!  Don’t feel obligated to keep all the prospectuses and quarterly reports you receive from various companies. Toss them after reading them.  If you ever need to double check one, the companies can send you another copy. However, be sure to save confirmations from purchases or sales as well as quarterly and year-end statements from your various accounts. Ask your broker or a financial professional if you feel you are unclear on the difference.

How do taxes affect my ability to save?

The fewer taxes you pay, the more you’ll be able to save! If you find yourself close to being in the next higher tax bracket, review the origination of your reportable income.  If the interest or capital gain income is significant, consider using either tax advantaged funds or tax-free funds which can help to minimize the additional reporting.

MOTHERS & FINANCIAL MATTERS

As women, we all play various roles in our lives: mother, daughter, grandmother, niece, aunt, girlfriend, granddaughter…or some integral combination of these. When you find the time to think about yourself and your roles, you may ask yourself whether or not you feel in control of your life and your future.  Or, like so many women, do you sometimes feel at the mercy of a husband, partner, parent or friend?

I am a Certified Financial Planner who focuses a large portion of her firm towards the unique needs of women. It is easy to believe that as women and mothers we have survived (and won) liberation, some degree of equality, and a firmer societal footing in work, family, financial responsibilities, and play.

But maybe we haven’t.

At least 40% of the women (including professional women) I meet with for the first time admit they are so busy with their careers, they allow their husbands or partners to handle all the financial matters.  They always simply assume the best. Unfortunately, and all too frequently, I am meeting these women because they are facing a divorce or other catastrophic life change and are totally unprepared.  Should the worst occur, most of these women (are you one of them?) lack the necessary information that would give them any degree of confidence in negotiating a fair and equitable assessment and division of assets towards a fair and equitable settlement. 

The first advice I give to all my women clients is to actively gain some education and knowledge regarding their financial situation and financial issues in general. You would be surprised how many women are tragically unprepared…now is the time to admit that knowledge is power and power is independence.  Just because you seek a game plan for independence (with the requisite knowledge), doesn’t mean you can’t have a fulfilling, happy and long relationship…and nor does it prepare you for failure. It just means you are now on a more equal footing with that partner.  You owe it to yourself, and any children you may have, not to be too busy to understand what’s happening in your financial life.

Every wife or partner out there should know what accounts they have; what the account numbers are, and at least a general idea of the balance in the accounts.  This includes bank accounts, money market accounts and investments. 

You may be facing legal and other decisions regarding the direction and disposition of many of these assets, and you may be liable for representing them incorrectly. For example, when you are presented with a tax return to sign, look it over, understand it, change it if necessary, and only when you agree with it should you sign it.  In my 20 plus years of working as a Certified Financial Planner and advisor, I have seen too many women merely sign the tax return when presented with it and have no idea what they’ve signed.  Keep in mind that once you sign it, you are legally obligated to the information in the return. Ignorance is no defense should their husband or partner be putting erroneous information on the return or even overlooking something themselves.

Of all of my accomplishments in life, being a mother (and grandmother) is one of which I am most proud. It has amazed me for years how many roles mothers play and how busy we are.  I realize that if you’re a working mother, you’re juggling both work and home – at least.  But consider how much of your life and lifestyle traces back to your financial situation and the freedoms it affords you. It is imperative you protect that part of your life, too. Increase your financial awareness, ask questions, take notes, and get involved. It is only through being involved in your family’s finances can you fully contribute, protect yourself, and know that you are doing your best to protect the future of your family.

Financial Awareness for Moms: Setting Goals & Taking Charge

[The following is an abridged excerpt from Elaine Kiernan’s upcoming book "Will My Mom Be a Bag Lady? Questions & Answers to Help You Plan for and Stabilize your Financial Future." This important book, scheduled for publication later this year, addresses many of the issues adult children face while becoming increasingly involved in the lives of their mothers and fathers. ]

I decided to write a book called “"Will My Mom Be a Bag Lady? Questions & Answers to Help You Plan for and Stabilize your Family’s Financial Future." because I have actually been asked some version of this question on several occasions. Typically, it is by adult children with legitimate concerns about the financial well-being of their mothers and fathers. I knew it was time to take the best of what I have learned and experienced over my 20 plus years in the financial services profession and offer it to the lives of others who may feel the same and be in the same situation. This article, and ultimately the book, is about improving your financial situation. With what you learn here, you will be able to.

Getting Started

Visualizing Where You Are

In order to improve your situation, you need to be able to understand and visualize what it is. Don’t make the mistake many people do and take what you think you know for granted, or imagine that you can mentally conceptualize all that needs to be assessed. You can’t. I can’t. No one can. Now is the time to make it real. See it. Write it down.

Regardless of your age, and this may ring of your childhood, writing down your goals can be a valuable exercise.  You should know that as a mother, I even had my children write down their goals every couple of years while they were in their early teens -- and I dated and kept them. As they got older, I was able to show them how their priorities and dreams had changed over the years!    Even though they are now in their 30s, they continue to write down their goals, and we continue to share them! It offers a grounding and focus that becomes key to how you look at the future by making you look at the future.

For each of our financial clients, most of whom are mothers, we take their top three goals – prioritized in the order in which they want to achieve them – and write them out on a piece of bright yellow card stock. Then, we make the card the same size as a credit card and instruct them to keep it in their wallets by their credit cards.  Each time they see even a small corner of that bright yellow card, it will remind them of their goals and why they don’t want to use their credit cards! We have used visualization to remind them what is most important to them. Try it!

Ask yourself, if you don’t know where you want to be, how will you know if you get there? What should be a clear path in your mind may just be a jumble of frustration about where you aren’t. Like many important challenges in life, visualize and list them in order to attack them.

If you’ve never written down your goals and need a good starting point, I recommend the following. It has helped many of my clients jumpstart the process:

1. Find a quiet place where you can be alone and uninterrupted.
2. Take a three-ring binder and allow your mind to wander.
3. Write down everything that comes to mind in the span of an hour. Whether they are sentences, words, or even pictures, jot them down.
4. Do this three times over the course of a few weeks.
5. Highlight any thoughts that may be a goal.
6. List the goals separately, then prioritize them and give them a time frame.
7. Once you have your list of goals, take them one at a time and make a list of obstacles you may need to overcome in order to reach each one.
8. Share your list.
9. Review your list periodically. Once a month is good.
10. As you accomplish a goal, draw a line through it and write in the date you completed it! By doing this, you give yourself a pat on the back and the motivation to tackle your other goals.

Yale University conducted a study on its 1968 graduating class. “Only 3% of the graduating seniors had written down goals. Forty years later, those same 3% held 95% of the wealth of the entire graduating class.” That’s a very impressive endorsement for writing goals and shows how important it is a crucial first step to achieving financial success.

Most of our problems, desires, dreams, and yearnings have a price tag. By writing down what we hope to accomplish and working through the steps to get there, we take charge of our lives in a positive and empowering way.  Financial independence brings us control over our lives, the freedom to do what we love, and the ability to have what we want. Taking charge, like anything else, starts with planning. Put your dreams in writing and do things one step at a time. Soon you’ll become accustomed to these first steps, and your dreams won’t seem that far off at all.  After all, you see dreams. Now make sure you visualize the steps that will take you there.

Financial Resource Associates, Inc. (FRA) Announces Office Relocation

FINANCIAL RESOURCE ASSOCIATES, INC

For Immediate Release

Financial Resource Associates, Inc. (FRA) Announces Office Relocation New Offices Reflective of Growth

(Santa Cruz, California, April 1, 2006) Elaine Kiernan, a Registered Investment Advisor (RIA) and president of Financial Resource Associates, Inc. (FRA), announced today the relocation of the firm’s offices. The new address is 2161 Delaware Avenue, Suite C, Santa Cruz, California 95060.

FRA has been a business resident of Santa Cruz County since 1988. Financial Resource Associates President Elaine Kiernan, CFP stated, “As many of our clients, colleagues, and business neighbors know, we have proudly been a resident of Santa Cruz for over 18 years. We are happy to continue to be part of this community, and we were able to find and secure a fantastic location that meets the needs of our clients and accommodates our growth.”

Kiernan continued, “The office location is adjacent to Natural Bridges State Park, home of the monarch butterflies, walking distance from the beach, and at the end of a wide quiet street (Delaware Avenue). It also offers more-than-ample parking, which can be somewhat unusual for Santa Cruz. The 2500 square foot offices are beautifully decorated and offer state-of-the-art technology to help us serve our clients even better than ever.”

About Elaine Kiernan:

Elaine R. Kiernan, Certified Financial Planner (CFP), Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), Certified Divorce Specialist (CDS). She is President of Financial Resource Associates (www.FRAssociates.com), a Registered Principal/Branch Manager of Geneos Wealth Management, Inc. and holds memberships in the Financial Planning Associates (FPA), the Institute of Divorce Financial Analysts (IDFA), and the International Association of Collaborative Professionals (IACP). Her firm, Financial Resource Associates, Inc. is a Registered Investment Advisory firm and she has been in practice for over 24 years. She is licensed by the California Department of Corporations, and the NASD. She has been active within the Santa Cruz, California community and has served on the boards of the McPherson Art and History Museum, Santa Cruz Art League, Planned Giving Council of Monterey County, Camp Opportunity and the Visiting Nurse Association. She is currently serving as Secretary for Community Bridges. She has four children and six grandchildren.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT FRA, PLEASE CONTACT: Mr. Todd Corgill Director, Corporate Marketing (831) 458-1125, Fax: (831) 458-0469 ToddCorgill@FRAssociates.com www.FRAssociates.com Securities offered through Geneos Wealth Management, Inc., member NASD, SIPC Investment Advisory Services offered through Financial Resource Associates, Inc.